2.22.2015

My Friends Annoy Me

Q: "I'm a serious introvert and my two good friends have a vague understanding of it. My best friend is always inviting me out, despite the fact that I've told her before hand that I was busy. She gets upset when I can't hang out so she complains to her mom, and then her mom calls me to pressure me into hanging out. She's always annoying the ever loving Christ out of me, and I feel bad for feeling this way. My other friend is totally self conceited. If the topic isn't her, she somehow changes it so it IS about her. They both annoy the shit out of me, and are two of my biggest triggers... I feel so horrible for thinking this way. What should I do?" -Anonymous

A: Hello! Seems like you're in a bit of a doozy. I'm not sure what your motive is for asking this question. Do you still want to be their friend or not? If maintaining a friendship with them is worth fighting for, I would just sit down with them and let them know exactly how you feel. If you can't be honest, then how can you expect them to see things from your point of view. They probably don't even know you're feeling this way. But if you expect them to change to your liking, you won't be that successful. The way you described them aren't necessarily behavioral problems, but character traits. You can tell someone to stop yelling at you, but you can't tell someone to stop being a loud person. Do you get what I mean? So if your friendship with these two people is worth holding on to, make an effort to do what they want. Meaning hang out with your first friend and feed your other friend's ego. The more you do what they want, the more likely they'll be receptive to what you want to do (or not want to do). However, if this friendship becomes a one way street and there isn't any compromise, then it's probably not worth hanging on to. Hope this helps!
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My Best Friend is Too Clingy

Q: "My best friend is SUPER clingy and I'm getting sick of it. She'll literally go off on me if I don't meet her after class, or when I can't hang out with her during the weekend. She'll try to blame me by saying that "I always make time for other people, but not her". And I've tried telling her to back off and give me some space but she doesn't understand. ALL the people in our friend group doesn't like her, so when they plan parties and invite me, but not her, she starts bitching at me saying that its messed up that I would go to a party without her. From there she'll try to guilt me into inviting her (against everyone's wishes). She's the kind of person to blame it all on me and say I'm a terrible person to everyone she knows. More drama from her is the last thing I need. HELP PLEASE." -Anonymous

A: Hello! This seems like a toxic friendship that will never work in your favor. Like any friendship, there always needs to be compromise. It can't always be about what one friend wants all the time. "Let's do this, let's go here, let's hang out, blah blah blah." If she can't take your words into consideration and give you the space you need, just dump that chick in a trash can (not literally). She can bitch at you all she wants, but if you don't give her the satisfaction of sticking your head up her ass and caring about what she has to say, she will eventually move on and torment some other lost soul. From there, you will notice that there will be no more drama, guilt, or headache in your life. I hope this helps! Let me know if you need any more advice.

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Need advice? Feel free to submit a question in the tab to the left of this blog and I will get to your question as soon as possible. Thank you!