My Friends Annoy Me

Q: "I'm a serious introvert and my two good friends have a vague understanding of it. My best friend is always inviting me out, despite the fact that I've told her before hand that I was busy. She gets upset when I can't hang out so she complains to her mom, and then her mom calls me to pressure me into hanging out. She's always annoying the ever loving Christ out of me, and I feel bad for feeling this way. My other friend is totally self conceited. If the topic isn't her, she somehow changes it so it IS about her. They both annoy the shit out of me, and are two of my biggest triggers... I feel so horrible for thinking this way. What should I do?" -Anonymous

A: Hello! Seems like you're in a bit of a doozy. I'm not sure what your motive is for asking this question. Do you still want to be their friend or not? If maintaining a friendship with them is worth fighting for, I would just sit down with them and let them know exactly how you feel. If you can't be honest, then how can you expect them to see things from your point of view. They probably don't even know you're feeling this way. But if you expect them to change to your liking, you won't be that successful. The way you described them aren't necessarily behavioral problems, but character traits. You can tell someone to stop yelling at you, but you can't tell someone to stop being a loud person. Do you get what I mean? So if your friendship with these two people is worth holding on to, make an effort to do what they want. Meaning hang out with your first friend and feed your other friend's ego. The more you do what they want, the more likely they'll be receptive to what you want to do (or not want to do). However, if this friendship becomes a one way street and there isn't any compromise, then it's probably not worth hanging on to. Hope this helps!
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